The latest venture of the Bobwhites of the Glen, involved raising money for the Sleepyside Fire Department by holding a bachelor auction. Since the fire department was rather sparsely populated when it came to unmarried firemen they had convinced the two, still unmarried, male Bobwhites to help fill the roster.
Diana and Honey were sitting in a quiet secluded alcove the Sleepyside Library enjoying the cool air-conditioning on a hot summer day. They were reviewing the photographs that had been taken to advertise the auction. Suddenly, Diana drew her in her breath in a sharp gasp of surprise and then poked Honey in the ribs.
“Day__yum! You know that old saying about, ‘just cause you have made your selection doesn’t mean that you can’t still look at the menu?' We each have very handsome and loving husbands. But look at this picture of Dan.”
Diana handed Honey a photograph of their friend, Dan Mangan. Dan was posed with his body facing left and his right leg resting on the seat of an old wooden sweet-heart backed chair. He had on black leather western boots embossed with rhinestones whose flash could have rivaled costly diamonds. He was wearing tuxedo pants and the bend of Dan’s leg emphasized the satin sheen of the long black ribbon that traveled the length of the leg from waist to cuff. His left arm was resting on his upraised leg, just partially blocking the view of his magnificently glowing, hairless torso. The final touch was the tuxedo tie that was draped negligently around his neck.
Diana finally exhaled her in-drawn breath. “He is positively xerothermic looking.”
Honey shook her head in confusion. “Zero whatsis?”
“Zerothermic. It means hot and dry.”
Honey gave Diana a sly glance and expelled a breathy, gleeful laugh. “Ok. Now I know you have been around Mart too long. I doubt that he would have much admiration for your recognition and enjoyment of his sister’s, fiance’s..." Honey finished with a whisper, "assets. Oh thank goodness she didn’t choose Jim. I couldn't survive being related to that.”
Honey raised both her hands and kissed the tips of her fingers, then shook them like she was trying to get droplets of moisture off her hands. “There is no suitable translation!”
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