02/12/2014 Prompt: Honesty

Trixie said, “Honey, I know that you and everybody else are just waiting for me to get over my snit fit and make up with Jim.  But lets take this step by step and look at it logically.

Yes. I told him I didn’t love him. Yes, at the time, I believed that was a lie. I told him that I didn’t love him because we have been having so many fights, it just seemed easier if we went our separate ways.

But, remember the polygraph test that I took for class?  The question asked, ‘Have you lied to anyone who really trusted you.’  I said no, meaning ‘No I haven’t lied to anyone who really trusts me’ because I was supposed to lie to beat the machine.  But on the other hand, the question asked that bit about ‘who trusted you’.  

Honey, I don’t feel that Jim trusts me, so I didn’t lie to someone who really trusts me.  You know?

I do love Jim.  I think.  No, I mean, I do love him.  But he’s not someone I want to marry and live the rest of my life with.  I don’t think Jim could handle being married to me, and I know for sure that I couldn’t handle being married to him.

There is a lot of time when I don’t even like him.  I already said that it doesn’t feel like he trusts me.  He doesn’t make me feel that he believes that I am trustworthy or worthy of his confidence.  

Don’t misunderstand.  I realize, for instance, that as a psychology intern, that he can not talk to me about the cases that he works on.  That is a given.  But he doesn’t give me the same understanding.  

I told him about the strengths/weakness lecture and said that Captain Molinson had requested that I make an assessment of the Sleepyside Bank. Before I could say anything else, he interrupted and said, “Oh, Trixie, when will you ever stop to think before you act.  Do you even realize anybody in that room listening to you could use that knowledge to try and  rob the bank?”    He obviously didn’t credit me with the ability to see situations with any intelligence.

I may have a good opportunity to intern next summer with a government agency.  Assuming I pass the security clearance, I will be required to keep information confidential.  But anytime I have a reason to not tell him anything and everything about what I am doing, he accuses me of lying.  

"And then there is the gas-lighting.  You know, everyone says that I can’t keep a secret." 

Trixie threw up her hands in irritation. "Who knows whether I can keep a secret or not. When I have any information that I don’t want to share, Jim will harass me until I get mad and spout off something that I shouldn’t.  Why can’t he show  me enough respect to step back and say, “Ok, Trixie.  You obviously have some information that you need to keep confidential, so I will just step back and keep my mouth shut.

In all honesty, I really think that I will be better without him.