The counselor asked, “Why are you here?”
Jim replied, “I was physically, emotionally and verbally abused by my step-father when I was growing up.
When I was 14, I had already earned a college scholarship but he said I lied about it, and anyway, I wasn’t going anywhere, that I had to work for him to pay for my room and board.
I tried to run away several times, but he always caught me and took me back to the farm. Ever since I got away from him, I have said that I wouldn’t do stuff like that to my family. But ..”
The counselor prompted, “But...what?”
“My girlfriend broke up with me. She said that I don’t respect, trust or have any confidence in her. She also said that I gaslight her. I really didn’t think think that I had ever gaslighted her. I hated when Jonesy would do that to me, but then my sister told me how I would say Trixie didn’t know what she was doing, that she couldn’t take care of herself, or that I would tell her she misunderstood clues to her mysteries.
A few days ago, I looked up the warning signs of an abuser. I realized that I have kept Trixie from leaving the room when we argue; I have been controlling about where she goes, and who she talks to; I have been jealous of the possibility of her going out with other guys; and I thought that I was being loving when I called her ‘my special girl’, but according to the list, that is pushing too fast for involvement.”
“Alright,” said the counselor. “What is your goal for treatment? Is it to get back with your girlfriend?”
“No. I don’t expect that to ever happen. But I have to change my life, so I won’t be an abuser. I want to get married and have children some day. I am working on building a school for boys who come from the same type of situation. I have to change my life, so that I can help them change theirs.”
Soon, with the prompting of the doctor, Jim began to relax and breathe deeply. Then the counselor suggested, “Pick a place in time and tell me what is going on around you.”
“I’m in my Great Uncle James house. The house is in terrible shape. Uncle James must be dead, but I am so hungry and tired I can’t move another step. I decide to lay down on an old mattress.
When I wake up, there are two girls staring at me. We argue a bit about none of us having any business in the house. The the short blond, she tells me that Uncle James was taken to the hospital and isn’t expected to live. I tell them that I am going to stay a few days anyway, there are vegetables in the garden, and plenty of chickens rabbits and squirrels. I threaten them that I’ll fix them good if they tell anybody that I am here.
How old are you?
I’ll be turning 15 this month.
No comments:
Post a Comment